Wednesday, December 26, 2012


This song is perfect and reminds me of a real good buddy o' mine who I care about dearly and want so badly to be happy and not so torn up about some of the things that are happening.

New Connan album next year everyone, he facebook promised, therefore new record. YES.

It's Choade My Dear-Connan Mockasin

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

He said romance is a ticket to paradise

Little Trouble Girl-Sonic Youth

This is actually my favourite song right now. Perfect Sonic Youth harmonies in the guitars and perfect Kim Gordon voice and a perfect perfect perfect nod to the girl groups of the 60's perfect perfect perfect.

Nobody baby but you and me

Just finished watching Blue Valentine, hohmyglob pretty sad times.

This song is great.

You and Me-Penny and the Quarters

I don't know what I am anymore I'm turning into a monster that I hoped was incapable of being revealed. Eep.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Hmm hnng ergh

For some reason, people have a really hard time loving me/telling me they do.

With whom lies the problem? People, or me?


I am listening to a lot of Animal Collective as of late.

Here, have a song from a really bad human.

The Softest Voice-Animal Collective

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Sandy, oh Sandy

Today, I enjoyed a few hours with my darling Sandy baby, and it was so lovely to see her incredible face. We talked about all of the things that have unfolded in our lives in the last few months, and ways that we can make ourselves better and try and make it out of this pit situation.

We talked about what our children would be like if we read French surrealist poetry to them while they are still in our wombs, or perhaps Beat literature, or just Edgar Allen Poe or Shakespeare sonnets.

I have just settled in my bed wearing a legit kimono from Japan and am going to watch 'In the Mood for Love'. YES. Get jealous.

But this song.

Decora-Yo La Tengo

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

I'm really incredibly alone and it's so awesome

But connan and the mockasins are going to save me so it's really going to be fine.

I feel like I am going to collapse in a big pile of terrible feelings and wanting to punch everyone and myself as well ugh I feel really awful. I can't talk to anybody. This is so so GREAT.

But whatever, because connan.

Uuu It's Teasy-Connan and the Mockasins

Thursday, November 29, 2012

My dad is so tops, he just came into my room after he finished work and sat down and had a really lovely conversation with me and he is so sweet and loves me a lot and no one shows it like he does and I love him a lot and I hope I can be a dad like him some day.

Sunday, November 25, 2012









Friday, November 23, 2012



I just got off the phone after a three hour conversation with my buddy and I fell asleep on him an hour ago but made him call back and it is not a quarter past three in the mornang and I have to be awake in six hours yay yay yay I''m so tired I might die now oh lord i really like him a lot and wish he wasn't so far away ugh come closer please please please work tomorrow for eight hours hooray

Thursday, November 22, 2012

When you're smoke

There's nothing you can do
To help make up my mind
To help me see the time
I won't walk down that line

The line that's straight to you
When you say walk, I run
Though I'm reduced to being dumb
It's so good of me to come

You infiltrate every bit of me
You're in every voice that spoke
It crushes my bones, broke
Up you go little smoke

Up and up, till I cannot see
I'll breathe you in the air
It's not nearly fair
To feel this naked and bare

As if I'm walking like a bird
Who has only stalks for feet
Always flying to retreat
I'm looked at with conceit

I hope that you will see straight through
The reason why I kiss
So I know if you exist
If you don't I'll still persist

Just a little something I wrote today coming home from work...

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Blue Mountains adventures with the A team

Alison, Alex and I ventured up to the Blue Mountains today, initially to go nature exploring, but we really just went through book shops and record stores and tried on some amazing 60's and 70's vintage clothing, some of which we purchased because we are really cool.

Here is my new shirt, and also two books of poetry that I acquired, Sir Walter Ralegh and Patti Smith. 

Last night I watched Alphaville the Jean-Luc Godard film, and good grief it is actually so, so, SO beautiful and incredible and really great dystopian concepts and as always beautiful composition and moving scenes. There's this one part where Anna Karina and the man who plays Jimmy Caution are just doing things together and over the top she is reading this incredible French surrealist poetry, and I actually died because it was so good and am going to get me a copy of it. It's Paul Eluard. This is one of the poems in it.

"Mourir de ne pas mourir" (“Dying Of Not Dying”) by Paul Éluard
Because I love you, everything moves
We must advance to live
Aim straight ahead toward those you love
I went toward you, endlessly toward the light
If you smile, it enfolds me all the better

It is so perfect and now I am on a Godard/french new wave spree WAHOO.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

What is a rainbow lord? A hoop, for the lowly.

I'm sitting on my bed, contemplating the universe and the weekend and writing an essay on Liszt and Tchaikovsky for my friend (I couldn't even write my own essays this semester, but can write someone else's?) and listening to the West Coast Pop Art Experimental Band and am just so excited for tomorrow, when I get to see a few people who are really important to me, and actually just drown myself in beautiful music and bands and shows and it's going to be absolutely COSMIC.

I just finished reading Dharma Bums by the infinite Jack Kerouac and it was actually one of the most incredible things I have ever read. 

Probably my most favourite thing he says is:
"Though the flesh be bugged, the circumstances of existence are pretty glorious"

And also the thing about the rainbow being a hoop. I was properly enlightened and have been changed forever. 

I've just started to read Huxley's Brave New World and it's already mind blowing and I'm only about 15 pages in.  

Tomorrow I pick up the boy. We drive down (probably listening to Cat Power's new record, which I purchased yesterday, eep) to see my delicious cousin sing while his brother plays guitar with a cello bow. We drive back up to see the Laurels and my darlings who I've not seen in almost two months. We come home and sleep. The day after we go to Harvest festival where we will see Mike Patton's Mondo Cane, The Black Angels, Grizzly Bear, Liars, Beirut and of course, Sigur Ros. Weep. 

I also got an undercut last night, which is really super fun and feels good I just feel up the back of my neck all the time.

Smell of Incense-West Coast Pop Art Experimental Band

and also

Eighteen is Over the Hill-West Coast Pop Art Experimental Band

UGH. So cussin' glorious.

Monday, October 22, 2012

The Night Dances

A smile fell in the grass.

And how will your night dances
Lose themselves. In mathematics?

Such pure leaps and spirals ----
Surely they travel

The world forever, I shall not entirely
Sit emptied of beauties, the gift

Of your small breath, the drenched grass
Smell of your sleeps, lilies, lilies.

Their flesh bears no relation.
Cold folds of ego, the calla,

And the tiger, embellishing itself ----
Spots, and a spread of hot petals.

The comets
Have such a space to cross,

Such coldness, forgetfulness.
So your gestures flake off ----

Warm and human, then their pink light
Bleeding and peeling

Through the black amnesias of heaven.
Why am I given

These lamps, these planets
Falling like blessings, like flakes

Six sided, white
On my eyes, my lips, my hair

Touching and melting.

Sylvia Plath

She is actually SO good.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

So this is what I have done

I'll show you more when I look a little nicer

Should I cut my fringe again? I don't know, maybe summer super short fringe isn't a really great idea...

If I could stand to be less difficult

American Flag-Cat Power

There's a lot changing in my life at the moment. I feel like the circle of friends that I thought would last for a very long time has already started to disintegrate, but that's ok with me. I feel like they are moving/trying to move into a circle that is incredibly worldly and so very self obsessed, and I don't want to think about myself all the time, so estranging myself from them for a few weeks has been really healthy. I now officially have one friend who I don't have to be guarded with at all.

He is really great and he makes me feel electric.

This Cat Power album was his doing and it's really great, Mick Turner and Jim White from The Dirty Three play guitar and drums respectively on it and it's just so beautiful.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Oh, Joni

A Case of You-Joni Mitchell

Oh Joni oh Joni, you know all things and I want to listen to you and cry all day because you are so perfect. This has been a terrible age for me, but I have had a dynamite boy assure me that it is kind of normal and it will least by the time I am thirty.

Dynamite boy, I hope you know how stellar you are.

Friday, September 7, 2012

Also, next week is my week of being kim gordon because I love her a lot


I'll try and take photos of myself every day because it will actually be a conscious effort for me, you know, thinking about what to wear and look super cool to the level of coolness that is kim gordon.SO. HOPEFULLY. Photos.

I just finished watching American Beauty

and I have so many feelings it was so beautiful oh my goodness. I don't know what to do with the rest of my night now that it's finished. I have had a bit of a birthday party dance time, but I'm actually really tired but I need to wait till my sister gets home because she has more of a social life than I do/didn't get grounded tonight even though I am 19 and too old to be grounded.

I have a crush on a boy and I feel like I'm being a real 12 year old about it.


Stuff you in the face.

I want to see him and maybe kiss him a little bit.

Enough is enough, I'm putting on some Godard.


Wednesday, September 5, 2012

lonely wednesdays

UERGH, I've been in ulladulla for three days staying with my friend going grocery shopping and watching films and listening to records and staying awake all night and then deliriously tired all day and forming a little crush on said friend and I'm so sad to be back home and have people tell me to go to bed and all the rest of it.

And also, I'm not allowed to go to yo grito on friday night. I am 19. And this has happened because I didn't make a phone call.

Hopefully will be moved out by the end of the year.

I'm getting really restless here.

I am so lonely now. I've been with people I genuinely like for the last three days and now I have no friends again.

Help me universe, I need you.

I Ate the Knife-These Immortal Souls

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Wednesday the TWENTININPHE.

Two and a half hours of flute playing later, I am dead, and am therefore rewarding myself with a very well earned soul party while I read things about Nick Cave and look at his beautiful demon face that I just cannot even solidly express my love for.

It was my last pay day today, and yes, it's nearly all gone already. I bought tickets to see the Laurels on Saturday (YES) and I also bought a super cute shirt, a beautiful lacy cami that yes I will wear as outerwear, and also this amazing metallic shift dress which I will wear to The Laurels on saturday.

If you haven't seen it yet, here's a clip! WATCH IT DAMMIT.

from Down By Law

This baby's on her way to me now delicious 45, I would eat you up you know.

Can't Let You Go-Sugar Pie Desanto

And this one will be here soon as well, MEGA EXCITED FOR THIS ONE. I will wail my tits off to this on another delicious 45.

I Put A Spell On You-Screamin' Jay Hawkins

I should probably leave some money on the side for important moving into the city. But records man. Make me cry.



Watching Stranger than Paradise and have a pile of good books-Nick Cave bio, books on Jim Jarmusch, Wim Wenders and girl groups-and greek tea in bed, ready for sleepies.

Hey, I'm blonde now and I have super cute piggie twirlies in my hair and will pose for you with my glorious Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds original pressing record of Your Funeral...My Trial which is like their most fantastic album that I acquired yesterday and nearly fainted in the shop of surprise and happiness.

John Lurie is a mega babe.

Watch Down By Law and listen to It's Raining by Irma Thomas, IT'S SO GOOD. I need to get it on vinylies. I NEED TO GET SO MUCH DAMMIT WHY DON'T I JUST WORK IN A RECORD STORE OR SOMETHING AND THEN SPEND ALL MY PAY ON THE DAMN STORE KEEPING IT OPEN. I do all that, except for the part of working there.

It's Raining-Irma Thomas

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

It's Raining...

I watched Down By Law for the first time on Sunday night and it was so, so very beautiful. This is my favourite scene from it because it's so, so very beautiful.
The song is incredible.
The dance is incredible.
Tom Waits and John Lurie ARE incredible.

I strongly recommend everyone to watch it, it's really, REALLY great.
 It'll get you babes, dancing like this I tell you.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012


New additions to my life that make it hella fab:

-Ocean Songs by The Dirty Three

-A book of selected poems by Allen Ginsberg

-My record store man and I are now friends on facebook (eep!)

-White thigh highs

-The shed shower in my backyard

-Watched Bande a Part and Dogs in Space last night

-About to go and hire a bunch of Jim Jarmusch films

The Restless Waves-Dirty Three

I still feel completely isolated and really lonely, to be honest I feel like some people don't want to speak to me anymore because they have better offers. But I have films to watch and records to listen to so I know I will be just fine. I guess nothing can hang on forever...

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

1:30am is always a good time to attempt a Bettie Page fringe cut, right?


I'm Coming Down-Primal Scream

Bettie Page is such a babe

Slowly crossing things off of my to-do list for my day off tomorrow, like cut my fringe, real important know.

Sunday, August 5, 2012


It's so good when people give up on you.

But then there's also Wayne Coyne, right?

Friday, August 3, 2012

Saaaaaave my life

Apocalypse Dreams-Tame Impala


Sunday, July 29, 2012

"Quite Woolworths"

weeping because Sigur Rós. 
When I get my tax back the first thing I'm doing is purchasing tickets to Harvest festival so I can weep at their feet and kiss them and tell them how much I love them and how much longer I can weep for.

Sigur Rós-Andvari

Friday, July 27, 2012

Goal for August

-Have a bath with CAN
-Get a new job
-Sell all those clothes online. Do it.

CAN are so freaking groovy what the h.
Gonna go watch Adventure Time.

Thursday, July 12, 2012


Farewell to my record player for two weeks

Cut Dead-The Jesus and Mary Chain

What can I do
It's gotten me beaten black and blue
Why don't you know
You got me moving much too slow
Why can't you see
You got me chasing honey bees
You made me fall
Broke me up and took it all
Call me your messed up boy

Just what I've found
You knock my body to the ground
Just what I've said
You're tearing up my weary head
Do I still shine
After such a lonely time
You cut me dead
You nail me down and kick my head
Cut dead your messed up boy

Goodness me I cussing love the Jesus and Mary Chain love my brains forever. Looove meeeee.

My record player is off to Hobbes' house for two weeks again, such is the thing that has been happening for a year and a bit. It's getting harder and harder to let go, she said to me "you always have the internet, that's okay to use when you've bought the record". DUDE THE WHOLE POINT OF GETTING A RECORD IS TO LISTEN TO THE DAMN THING. THE THING. Gerugh, I'm an angry person and I'm going to get angry because like, it's kind of my baby. It's the only thing I love in this whole world and will love forever. 

Have made a decision to go back to university next semester and kick butt in my courses, so that I can study abroad in one of my final years and live in Berlin for a year. Is my plan. YES. Cannot wait to be out of this place and absorbing and learning and living and do it by myself and for myself. 


Cos it's not so clear anymore to me

Placebo Headwound-The Flaming Lips

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

“It is not that the girl is unfit for everything, it is that she is not of this world.”

-Gabriel Garcia Marquez

I'm probably going to start uploading a little but of poetry and other short stories onto this blog, just for all your enjoyment and my mental health.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

I should probably get a journal or a therapist or something. I'm losing it.

Angry thoughts...

“Sometimes people cherish negative thoughts. They get a kind of pleasure from them. They feel that fear, doubt and jealousy are necessary.”
-Sri Chinmoy


It's time to have a shower and wash all of my negative thoughts away. Silly, silly human right here.

There's a lot of anger here.

Saturday, June 2, 2012

I know this.
I'm better than you.
I know more.
Do this do this.
Listen to what I'm saying.
Don't feel this way.
I love this more than you ever will.

Sometimes, being the underdog loses all the perks.
Sometimes, you just don't want to take it anymore and you don't want it anymore.


Tuesday, May 29, 2012

2.15am's later

I'm dying...I'm dead. Oh my goodness, why am I still awake. Test tomorrrow. Death death death.
I am so sensitive and it's so silly..I don't know what's happening...dtfrygtyhjkgydhjvwbfv

The beauty of love's in her eyes

Long Gone-Syd Barrett

I have had a very traumatic and emotional couple of days.

I think I'm going to defer uni for a semester, and work and get some money and just spend a lot of time reading and discovering myself properly. I never gave myself any time to do that between uni and school, so now is the time that I'm going to do it. I'm 19 and I haven't read nearly enough. I'm going to discover what my real interests are and find out my strengths and find something to do with them. Either I'll defer, or I will only do a couple of subjects so I can work and self-discover.

Anyway, there has been a lot of Syd Barrett going on, lots of My Bloody Valentine and a stupid amount of crying and stress because uni is such a joyful place to be. I love uni. Yay yay yay. Anyway, it's basically my last day of classes tomorrow. I have a practical exam on monday and then a test to hand in (I know, hardly a test) on friday next week but other than that, I'm free! Marvellous. I am so tired, I want to punch myself in the eye. Manka and his friend are coming back to sleep over from seeing Sufjan, Nico and Bryce (which I saw last night and was absolutely amazed and so inspired by), so I should probably not go to sleep until they get here. I might nap on the floor though. Ah, and they'll probably want food as well, if I know them well enough they wouldn't have eaten yet. Ah crap, there's no petrol in my car either...this should be interesting.

Now it's time to do mini study bits for the test I have tomorrow, which I'll try my hardest not to sleep through like last week's test. Eeep. Death. Big trouble for that one.

Saturday, May 26, 2012

And if it don't work then, then I was kidding now

Grey/Afro- Alexander  Spence

Seems that every time I talk to you
You have something else to do

If I were to open up with you
Would you call me the same as I call you

Frightful days that we are living in
But it seems if hopes get in your way

We'll take our time and show the life I count out
Open up the chance I have with you right there

Between my lips are words that surface through you
I'm just trying to get a message through you
To you, for you, I will
By you, saw you, know you
I do, you plan to do, if you

His lies, his lies come just to late
Colored white and gold and yellow and red
In the timing of the soul that's right
Then we'll look at how talk about death is spread

Do you know you ask and you shall live
And die then you can turn to sin

And if I had a lovely home with a bunch of girls
With me, they can't help you

Believe me if I do what I did
I will have euphoria

To be sure
I don't give a damn
Live in a place
Do anything

Hey hey, look at who's caught swearing

Hey,hey, oh I dread the damned

You came so softly as not to disturb your sleep
I will come into your dream tonight completely
Not to prevent one would sell to you dear
I would do anything at all for you

Let us start a nice old new organization
To try and be hands heaven from this civilization
Only trust in our destination, you need me
And only then I'd let you hide behind me

Do not let's be right as you have a few
Ask me what to do, and I'll come

Hmm.. Ask me what to do then, so softly
And if I know within' your eyes, can I

And if it don't work then, then I was kidding now
If it don't work then, then I was kidding now

Thursday, May 24, 2012

She's my narcotic lollipop

If there was any one album I would recommend for you to listen to right now, to stop what you are doing, go out and purchase this record, put it on, and sit down and listen and be attentive and absorbed and consumed and devoured by, it would be Pop Crimes by Rowland S. Howard. He is probably one of my most favourite musicians.
When I bought this from the record store, the man who I have become acquainted with told me that the other guy who works there who I get on really well with actually saw Rowland when he played at the Oxford Art Factory I think it was for the release of this record. So I'm going to have to pick his brain about that, I'm quite looking forward to that actually.
I have listened to this album three times already, and I feel that it is one of the most exquisite things I have ever listened to. It is particularly great, because school is really getting me down at the moment, and I feel like this has lifted me slightly every time I listen to it, just because it is soo good.
Here's the first track to get you started...

(I Know) A Girl Called Jonny- Rowland S. Howard

Sunday, May 20, 2012

The trout are really torpedos

I have had an interesting week. Unfortunately I have been subjected to the entire notch on the emotional scale, I think I would have much preferred just having one constant emotion all week, it would have been much less exhausting.

Anyway, I have watched Autoluminescent and it is actually one of my favourite films ever. I can't wait to get it back off Hobbes so I can watch it several more times. I think I might maybe watch it with Manka when he comes up to see Sufjan Stevens with me on tuesday night at the opera house which I am really freaking excited about. I do however, have a stupid amount of school work that I need to get done before tuesday I think, so as to prevent a really awful time on tuesday and I'll upset every single person I spend a moment of time with.

I am currently in the middle of watching "Wings of Desire", a german film made in 1987 by Wim Wenders and so far I am just loving it. I am getting a lot out of it and am really grateful for the record store man for recommending it to me, despite the fact I would have inevitably found it on account of my present love for Rowland S. Howard whose band 'Crime and the City Solution' are filmed in the Wings of Desire. I just cannot, cannot, CANNOT wait to get on my break and I will just completely and probably hazardously immerse myself in books and music and film. Bring it.

Going to be so broke as well. My shifts are being cut. Thank you Woolsworthless. Bastards.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Here yah go...


Tears of a Clown-POND

I have the Smokey Robinson and the Miracles 7", this song is so fun ahahaha. I died when I saw this existed because I am in love with lil ol' Nick Allbrook right now, he's just the best. 
He's got crazy energy wachow funtimes.
He's so cute.
And little. 
And an amazing performer.
And I love him.

Can't wait to see him again and tell him, baby I play the flute too, we can be friends and stuff.
It's almost 4 in the morning...

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Purchases, consequent sadness on account of silly decisions

Friday, I purchased The Pretty Things album called 'Parachute' and I have listened to one of the tracks on it called 'Grass' which is really great. It's a bit of a concept album, the predecessor to 'Parachute' was one of the first rock operas called 'S.F Sorrow' which I have listened to most of and have really loved actually. Anyway, I've not listened to concept-y type albums for a ridiculously long time. Kind of like, two years ago when I was listening to a looot of Mars Volta and King Crimson and stuff. Anyway, this record is really amazing apparently. Haven't had a chance yet to listen to it yet, but the record store man says it's great. And I trust his judgement. Thank you Nick-the-record-store-man.

Today, I have purchased something which I am so flipping excited about listening to. ALAS, here is my sadness, I have a 3000 word essay due on Thursday, which I've not finished but I want to finish it tonight (which is a day before it's due) so that tomorrow I can actually maybe go to sleep good and proper tomorrow night so I can actually remain conscious for the first time all semester in this class.
The sticker never told me the vinyl was red! What a crazy surprise for my little eyeballs.
The Boys Next Door record purchase of the day. This is the band that developed into The Birthday Party...WHOM I LURV. If you've not listened to Prayers on Fire, the album, listen. But yes, excited to hear this.

My brand spankin' new Autoluminescent dvd about Rowland S. Howard of The Boys Next Door (see above) and The Birthday Party (listen to Prayers on Fire). Must watch. Muuust. Waaatch.
So I told myself when I purchased this dvd, that I'm not allowed to watch it until I write 2000 words of my essay. So far, I am up to about 600, and it's 1:44am and I am pretty damn tired and would love to go to sleep. My aim for the night is to get to 1500 words, and then I'll go to sleep I think. I just need to finish writing about Bartok is all. Yeah, that's what I'll do. Then I'll do a crapload of work at uni tomorrow, so I can come home, watch this doco, have a nap, maybe watch it again, and sleep for a long time. Then hand in my essay! Which I should be writing! Write now! Right now!

I hate uni so much right now.

Going to the south coast in a couple of weeks though. Before I die of Sydney overdose.

But right now, I'm going to write now. Bam.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Francoise, the french babe.

This is Francoise Hardy. She is a french singer/actress who sang a crap load of french pop songs during the 60's and still continues to sing a crap load of french pop songs. Her style is fantastic, and she has such an excellent facial structure and is therefore a french babe. She also married a groovy french psych/beat man who I discovered only the other day, Jacques Dutronc.

Here are my favourite songs by Francoise and Jacques respectively:

Le Temps De L'Amour-Francoise Hardy

Le Responsable-Jacques Dutronc